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Find My Way Home

by Diana Chittester

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1.
Cold Man 03:40
COLD MAN You were summoned by angels to serve Armed with the mercy and wrath of his word you were Seeking the demons on earth To send their sin sick souls to the depths of hell to burn You’re a cold man seeking warmth from the light And I’m a woman on the war against right You were coming to warn me of storms That the heavens would send down to drowned the wicked and warned You sent a dove to me, yeah, hoping she’d return clean But I sent that dove back just as black as you painted me (Chorus) Oh you’re a cold man Seeking warmth from the light And I’m a woman on the war against right I challenged your dynasty to reveal Himself and show faith to me But it’s too much time just to give it up Now that the fire and brimstone have cleared And I am left with the choice of a faith or a fear You had turned from me to seek out your divine And I’m just the pillar of salt that you left behind (Chorus)
2.
Take It Back 04:24
TAKE IT BACK Well you were a world that I could hide in I should have known to build my own You were someone I could rely on Until one day you were gone And now that you’re cutting off all ties Have to wonder what defined, the safe you said you were Cuz just as a tornado touching ground I’ve been crazy and now I’m found, to be unpredictable (Chorus) So take it back, so take it back, take it back I can’t live it without it no This is my whole world crashing down Take it back, so take it back, take it back I can’t live it without it no I’m gonna need you, just to stay, yeah You were someone I could belong to How many more belonged to you With just this little slip of tongue I am wonderin’ why I’m wronged And now what I’m gonna do Cuz now that you’re getting off on lies I have to wonder what was I in this game you played Just as a tornado touching ground I’ve been crazy and now I’m found to be unpredictable (Chorus) (Guitar/Drum solo) Take it back baby Well I can’t live without it I’m gonna need you Take it back baby I can’t live without it I’m gonna need you (Chorus)
3.
Doin' Fine 04:58
DOIN’ FINE I was born to a world where there were monsters and ghosts Ready for the taking if I ventured alone Into that wondrous great unknown So we built up all the walls and they stood sturdy and tall They kept out the wicked and all the evil of the dark And I was safe as long as I’m inside So I’d lie at night wide awake and imagine me strong Fearless of the creatures just pass those walls If I could grow wings I’d fly I was born a princess to a king and a queen They kept me locked up in their castle so that I couldn’t see All those dragons breathing fire around me Till one day a knight came with the beast that he slain On his horse with his sword and suddenly I became Just as safe as I was inside So I’d lie at night wide awake and image me strong Braver than the bravest of the knights out at war If I could grow wings I’d fly (Chorus) And now I’m doin’ fine In this undefined I’m taking that madness And making it magic And claiming it mine Yes I’m doin’ fine Way up here where it’s clear I have the stars as my guide There’s no one around me there's no where to hide And there is no longer a safe inside So I’d lie at night wide awake and image me strong Willing to conquer those vampires and wolves Oh I’ve learned to fly (Chorus) So I’d lay awake at night And wonder where Those beasts those ghosts those vampires Never appeared I wonder why I was scared Cuz I’m doin’ fine In this undefined Yes I’m taking that madness Now it's magic and now it's mine And I’m doin’ fine! (Chorus)
4.
BREATHE WITHOUT AIR We had met at the waters fall Each on separate sides As if defensive to the life that we know Willing to protect it and fight You walked toward me So I came to you calmly We met at the rivers bed You reached out to embrace me in But I pushed you right off the edge There’s a darkness To the unknown So you swam for the life you have And I can’t help you Till you breathe without air And you had surfaced Under the rapids white You cried out for your life I came down On the winds gust But I held it back from your lungs And you’re captured By the nature you enslaved By what you claimed as your own You cried out in fear And I was right there But still all you felt was alone So I can’t help you Until you breathe without air You were strewn Across the clay Thrown to the feet of the earth You cried mercy And your hands raised up But your chest never rose for air The trees came down And the leaves that had fallen Formed a life boat to take you home You forfeit your body And your rights as a man The air you were given Was a gift with each breathe And your time to show How to breathe without air
5.
Alleluia 04:21
ALLELUIA I’m heading down those pathways Oh the ones that took me far and distant I’m hopin’ that this call for truth Will lead me home To the place I had left Cuz there’s been some time Oh I have been changing I’ve had myself a new beginning And I’m tired of dodging The bombs from my past So I’m headed home To lay it all to rest Well it’s been a while since he’s called me daughter Over an understanding he wish he could further And I’m hoping that my own salvation Will take me home to the place that I had left Cuz I’ve had the many miles in my directions I can’t say that I led with the best of intention And I’m hoping this sweet surrender will take me home To the place that I had left (Chorus) Alleluia Cuz this war has got me in two directions I’ve got something good But not a whole lot left to give So I’m hoping that by lowering these expectations I’m takin’ back and there’s so much more to this And I’m hoping that I’m finding my way home again I’ve reached the cabin in the woods now The one between the trees and shadows I can’t get through those locked doors or windows Cutting off the life that lives inside So I’m heading back those pathways The ones that took me far and distant I’m hoping that this call for truth will lead me on Cuz that’s the way I’m moving in (Chorus)
6.
UnReal 04:02
UNREAL You’re wanting in I’m losing control Just when I thought I could win You’re getting too close And I’m getting lost Here in this web that you spin (Chorus) So drink me in Swallow me down I need to be further than your skin I’m going nowhere now I’m desperately bound To this wicked you live Ooo what it feels like Is unreal Ooo what it feels like Is unreal You’re getting brave I’m weakening fast Just when I thought this would end You’re getting to the part Where there’s no return and I’m scared I have no way to defend (Chorus) You’re wanting me And I can’t believe All this guilt that I feel You’re wanting inside of me You take away my purity When you come for the kill (Chorus)
7.
Storyteller 04:33
STORYTELLER You were good company A way to free I lived vicariously Through those stories you’d share with me When the house lay dark I’d cross the hall To dim lit room From the lamplight against the wall As your spotlight to tell you you’re on Storyteller let your stories be told You were a constant protection You gave me direction From my cruel scary worlds deception So I’d always know the right way to go You were courageous and brave You’re not afraid to live So I watched from your shadow While your life laid itself out for you (Refrain) But if these roles were ever reversed And I lived experience first I hope you have me prepared (Chorus) Baby please, will you please Come on back to me I’m waiting now just to see If I can do this out on my own So baby please, will you please Come on back to me I’m waiting now just to see If I can do this out on my own Storyteller don’t let your stories be gone You had a house of cards Till the wind blew hard Now they’re lying flat on the ground No I haven’t heard your voice in a while And the silence is the cruelest It sends a harshness that controls us Leaving each of us lost Separated from the past that we know (Repeat Refrain) (Chorus) Cuz I can do this now on my own And your stories will never be gone
8.
EVERYTHING YOU ARE Life, has taken over now And it’s given me all these questions that I ask And I’m feeling lesser somehow Cuz questions they’re all I’m getting back As a power has descended down On a house oh I used to call my home And I’m looking back there At all these stones as they’re thrown And seeing there’s stones in the hands Of the family that I know So I will pray that someday you’ll learn (Chorus) Everything you are Isn’t all that’s real You’re so badly lost Everything you learned, no You’ll see, someday you’re wrong You’ll see it someday, you’ll see it, oh Well you have drawn the line And called me up there to define You’re saying where’s your god in this Cuz I’m an enemy to your life And I have this suspicion That while you’re teaching from those scriptures It’s really you that has that identity that needs to hide So I will pray that someday you’ll learn (Chorus) So I will pray that someday you’ll learn (Chorus)
9.
FIND MY WAY HOME You’re sending me to nowhere With a lack of confidence And a map where you claim’s your treasure Though you don’t know where it is I’m searching for that North Star To safely guide me in I’m already shipwrecked in an ocean I don’t know where I am Or where I’ll be If I ever make it home (Chorus) That’s where I will be If I ever make it home You’re giving it a laughter A brutal honesty I expect we’ll soon be after The life of you and me There’s a sudden simple strangeness To a love I’ve known so long And I have all worries in these waters As I’m treading towards the shore To see where I will be If I ever make it home (Chorus) You’re giving it a silence Oh I can hear your orders loud and clear Directing us to nowhere You are leading us with fear There is a love I have come to lose A direction no I couldn’t choose So I’m jumping into this sea to find If I’ll ever make it home If I will ever make it home If I will find my way home (Ad lib)
10.
Astonished 05:04
ASTONISHED You tell me all of your secrets Until now, only you’re hands knew And I tell you I’ll keep them separate From the better, that I know of you Cuz you feel there’s no one Who can hear, anytime you speak And you feel there’s no one Who can come anytime you need (Chorus) And I can see prayer It’s trying just to be all you need And I can see hope It’s dying Each and every time you breathe Still I’m astonished You’ll find me, still you cry out for more We have ourselves something real here It’s a challenge, but its life And I just can’t wrap myself around Playing victim, and giving up a fight Cuz you say there’s no one Who can hear, anytime you speak And you say there’s no one Who can come anytime you need (Chorus) There are no words left To express how bad this hurts To be the one that loves you The one that cares for you And still I’m not enough To be abandoned for a Mysterious love Well I image me as your heaven Still I’m not enough I hear that you are doing well now You’ve survived And so have I But I keep your secret Locked up tight So you’re safe to hide
11.
SECRET I’ve got a secret here, baby Oh I’m dyin’ to tell Who is your secret there, darlin’ Who’s that something concealed (Chorus) I’m singing love Oh, no lye me down low I’m beggin’ Don’t speak Out in the open there baby Oh it’s likely to fail Exposed uncensored there darlin’ Oh it’s likely to kill (Chorus) I’m singing love Oh, no lye me down low I’m beggin’ Don’t speak a breath of us, no I’ve got a secret here baby Oh how badly would you like to know (Chorus) I’m singing love Lye me down low I’m beggin’ Don’t speak a breath of us, no
12.
THE SIMPLE THINGS A simple conversation takin’ place between a patient And her flip-chart files, her blood filled viles With the decision of whether or not life is worth a second chance Having all the complication and the questions That don’t have any answers The God Damn doctors Are messin with a womans life and Actin’ like there’s nothing left but death Walkin’ through a living cemetery with the scary Thought of her heart failing her will power bailing Before I have my opportunity to enter in my final plea Sitting in this chair with nothing here except for fear Hoping she’s lying – politely complying To ultimately defeat any decree that they maybe try to give (Chorus) I know the simple things aren’t always The good things oh no this ain’t No alternative to a life I know the simple things aren’t always The good things oh no this ain’t No alternative to a life The moment passes as it’s boiled down to guesses And a family stands fighting completely denying The consequences taking chances could only bring As I hear her voice say I give in I give up now I’m quitting So let’s all play pretend and Let’s all go home where the healing begins (Repeat Chorus) I remember my late, late night, when I gave up all hope The plastic pill filled bottle I swallowed And awakening every hour to the ringing in my ears The horrid look of me dying in the mirror So, I know what it’s like to greet death at your door Or have the option of crossing over the threshold And entering into – that no return world. (Repeat Chorus) A simple conversation between a patient and her Flipchart files and blood filled viles With the decision of whether or not Life is really worth a second chance As I hear of all the mistakes With the life that’s at stake and the chances they’ll take And I’m wonderin’ if really we’re lyin’ and just waiting for the end.

credits

released August 3, 2014

Lyrics, vocals, guitar: Diana Chittester
Engineer: Andrew "Goat" Gilchrist
Mastering: Bruce Berielle
Photography: Every Angle Photography
Album Design: Jessica Rosenblatt & Diana Chittester

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Diana Chittester Cleveland, Ohio

“If you don't believe an acoustic solo performance can fill a room with raw power, elegance and intelligence concurrently, you haven't experienced Diana Chittester”

- The Devil Strip

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