Find My Way Home

by Diana Chittester

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03:40
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04:24
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04:58
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04:21
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04:02
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04:33
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credits

released August 3, 2014

Lyrics, vocals, guitar: Diana Chittester
Engineer: Andrew "Goat" Gilchrist
Mastering: Bruce Berielle
Photography: Every Angle Photography
Album Design: Jessica Rosenblatt & Diana Chittester

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about

Diana Chittester Cleveland, Ohio

Diana Chittester stands alone on stage with her arsenal of acoustic guitars. Her solo show is brought to life by her signature percussive multi-part playing, mimicking a full band on a solo acoustic guitar, blended with intelligent and articulate lyrics. Diana’s energetic solo show provides audiences the full experience. ... more

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Track Name: Cold Man
COLD MAN

You were summoned by angels to serve
Armed with the mercy and wrath of his word you were
Seeking the demons on earth
To send their sin sick souls to the depths of hell to burn
You’re a cold man seeking warmth from the light
And I’m a woman on the war against right

You were coming to warn me of storms
That the heavens would send down to drowned the wicked and warned
You sent a dove to me, yeah, hoping she’d return clean
But I sent that dove back just as black as you painted me

(Chorus)
Oh you’re a cold man
Seeking warmth from the light
And I’m a woman on the war against right
I challenged your dynasty to reveal Himself and show faith to me
But it’s too much time just to give it up

Now that the fire and brimstone have cleared
And I am left with the choice of a faith or a fear
You had turned from me to seek out your divine
And I’m just the pillar of salt that you left behind

(Chorus)
Track Name: Take It Back
TAKE IT BACK

Well you were a world that I could hide in
I should have known to build my own
You were someone I could rely on
Until one day you were gone
And now that you’re cutting off all ties
Have to wonder what defined, the safe you said you were
Cuz just as a tornado touching ground
I’ve been crazy and now I’m found, to be unpredictable

(Chorus)
So take it back, so take it back, take it back
I can’t live it without it no
This is my whole world crashing down
Take it back, so take it back, take it back
I can’t live it without it no
I’m gonna need you, just to stay, yeah

You were someone I could belong to
How many more belonged to you
With just this little slip of tongue
I am wonderin’ why I’m wronged
And now what I’m gonna do
Cuz now that you’re getting off on lies
I have to wonder what was I in this game you played
Just as a tornado touching ground
I’ve been crazy and now I’m found to be unpredictable

(Chorus)

(Guitar/Drum solo)

Take it back baby
Well I can’t live without it
I’m gonna need you
Take it back baby
I can’t live without it
I’m gonna need you

(Chorus)
Track Name: Doin' Fine
DOIN’ FINE

I was born to a world where there were monsters and ghosts
Ready for the taking if I ventured alone
Into that wondrous great unknown
So we built up all the walls and they stood sturdy and tall
They kept out the wicked and all the evil of the dark
And I was safe as long as I’m inside

So I’d lie at night wide awake and imagine me strong
Fearless of the creatures just pass those walls
If I could grow wings I’d fly

I was born a princess to a king and a queen
They kept me locked up in their castle so that I couldn’t see
All those dragons breathing fire around me
Till one day a knight came with the beast that he slain
On his horse with his sword and suddenly I became
Just as safe as I was inside

So I’d lie at night wide awake and image me strong
Braver than the bravest of the knights out at war
If I could grow wings I’d fly

(Chorus)
And now I’m doin’ fine
In this undefined
I’m taking that madness
And making it magic
And claiming it mine
Yes I’m doin’ fine

Way up here where it’s clear I have the stars as my guide
There’s no one around me there's no where to hide
And there is no longer a safe inside
So I’d lie at night wide awake and image me strong
Willing to conquer those vampires and wolves
Oh I’ve learned to fly

(Chorus)

So I’d lay awake at night
And wonder where
Those beasts those ghosts those vampires
Never appeared
I wonder why I was scared
Cuz I’m doin’ fine
In this undefined
Yes I’m taking that madness
Now it's magic and now it's mine
And I’m doin’ fine!

(Chorus)
Track Name: Breathe Without Air
BREATHE WITHOUT AIR

We had met at the waters fall
Each on separate sides
As if defensive to the life that we know
Willing to protect it and fight

You walked toward me
So I came to you calmly
We met at the rivers bed
You reached out to embrace me in
But I pushed you right off the edge

There’s a darkness
To the unknown
So you swam for the life you have
And I can’t help you
Till you breathe without air

And you had surfaced
Under the rapids white
You cried out for your life
I came down
On the winds gust
But I held it back from your lungs

And you’re captured
By the nature you enslaved
By what you claimed as your own
You cried out in fear
And I was right there
But still all you felt was alone
So I can’t help you
Until you breathe without air

You were strewn
Across the clay
Thrown to the feet of the earth
You cried mercy
And your hands raised up
But your chest never rose for air

The trees came down
And the leaves that had fallen
Formed a life boat to take you home
You forfeit your body
And your rights as a man
The air you were given
Was a gift with each breathe
And your time to show
How to breathe without air
Track Name: Alleluia
ALLELUIA

I’m heading down those pathways
Oh the ones that took me far and distant
I’m hopin’ that this call for truth
Will lead me home
To the place I had left

Cuz there’s been some time
Oh I have been changing
I’ve had myself a new beginning
And I’m tired of dodging
The bombs from my past
So I’m headed home
To lay it all to rest

Well it’s been a while since he’s called me daughter
Over an understanding he wish he could further
And I’m hoping that my own salvation
Will take me home to the place that I had left

Cuz I’ve had the many miles in my directions
I can’t say that I led with the best of intention
And I’m hoping this sweet surrender will take me home
To the place that I had left

(Chorus)
Alleluia

Cuz this war has got me in two directions
I’ve got something good
But not a whole lot left to give
So I’m hoping that by lowering these expectations
I’m takin’ back and there’s so much more to this
And I’m hoping that
I’m finding my way home again

I’ve reached the cabin in the woods now
The one between the trees and shadows
I can’t get through those locked doors or windows
Cutting off the life that lives inside

So I’m heading back those pathways
The ones that took me far and distant
I’m hoping that this call for truth will lead me on
Cuz that’s the way I’m moving in

(Chorus)
Track Name: UnReal
UNREAL

You’re wanting in
I’m losing control
Just when I thought I could win
You’re getting too close
And I’m getting lost
Here in this web that you spin

(Chorus)
So drink me in
Swallow me down
I need to be further than your skin
I’m going nowhere now
I’m desperately bound
To this wicked you live
Ooo what it feels like
Is unreal
Ooo what it feels like
Is unreal

You’re getting brave
I’m weakening fast
Just when I thought this would end
You’re getting to the part
Where there’s no return and I’m scared
I have no way to defend

(Chorus)

You’re wanting me
And I can’t believe
All this guilt that I feel
You’re wanting inside of me
You take away my purity
When you come for the kill

(Chorus)
Track Name: Storyteller
STORYTELLER

You were good company
A way to free
I lived vicariously
Through those stories you’d share with me

When the house lay dark
I’d cross the hall
To dim lit room
From the lamplight against the wall
As your spotlight to tell you you’re on
Storyteller let your stories be told

You were a constant protection
You gave me direction
From my cruel scary worlds deception
So I’d always know the right way to go
You were courageous and brave
You’re not afraid to live
So I watched from your shadow
While your life laid itself out for you

(Refrain)
But if these roles were ever reversed
And I lived experience first
I hope you have me prepared

(Chorus)
Baby please, will you please
Come on back to me
I’m waiting now just to see
If I can do this out on my own
So baby please, will you please
Come on back to me
I’m waiting now just to see
If I can do this out on my own
Storyteller don’t let your stories be gone

You had a house of cards
Till the wind blew hard
Now they’re lying flat on the ground
No I haven’t heard your voice in a while
And the silence is the cruelest
It sends a harshness that controls us
Leaving each of us lost
Separated from the past that we know

(Repeat Refrain)
(Chorus)

Cuz I can do this now on my own
And your stories will never be gone
Track Name: Everything You Are
EVERYTHING YOU ARE

Life, has taken over now
And it’s given me all these questions that I ask
And I’m feeling lesser somehow
Cuz questions they’re all I’m getting back

As a power has descended down
On a house oh I used to call my home
And I’m looking back there
At all these stones as they’re thrown
And seeing there’s stones in the hands
Of the family that I know

So I will pray that someday you’ll learn

(Chorus)
Everything you are
Isn’t all that’s real
You’re so badly lost
Everything you learned, no
You’ll see, someday you’re wrong
You’ll see it someday, you’ll see it, oh

Well you have drawn the line
And called me up there to define
You’re saying where’s your god in this
Cuz I’m an enemy to your life
And I have this suspicion
That while you’re teaching from those scriptures
It’s really you that has that identity that needs to hide

So I will pray that someday you’ll learn

(Chorus)

So I will pray that someday you’ll learn

(Chorus)
Track Name: Find My Way Home
FIND MY WAY HOME

You’re sending me to nowhere
With a lack of confidence
And a map where you claim’s your treasure
Though you don’t know where it is
I’m searching for that North Star
To safely guide me in
I’m already shipwrecked in an ocean
I don’t know where I am
Or where I’ll be
If I ever make it home

(Chorus)
That’s where I will be
If I ever make it home

You’re giving it a laughter
A brutal honesty
I expect we’ll soon be after
The life of you and me
There’s a sudden simple strangeness
To a love I’ve known so long
And I have all worries in these waters
As I’m treading towards the shore
To see where I will be
If I ever make it home

(Chorus)

You’re giving it a silence
Oh I can hear your orders loud and clear
Directing us to nowhere
You are leading us with fear
There is a love I have come to lose
A direction no I couldn’t choose
So I’m jumping into this sea to find
If I’ll ever make it home
If I will ever make it home
If I will find my way home

(Ad lib)
Track Name: Astonished
ASTONISHED

You tell me all of your secrets
Until now, only you’re hands knew
And I tell you I’ll keep them separate
From the better, that I know of you

Cuz you feel there’s no one
Who can hear, anytime you speak
And you feel there’s no one
Who can come anytime you need

(Chorus)
And I can see prayer
It’s trying just to be all you need
And I can see hope
It’s dying
Each and every time you breathe
Still I’m astonished
You’ll find me, still you cry out for more

We have ourselves something real here
It’s a challenge, but its life
And I just can’t wrap myself around
Playing victim, and giving up a fight
Cuz you say there’s no one
Who can hear, anytime you speak
And you say there’s no one
Who can come anytime you need

(Chorus)

There are no words left
To express how bad this hurts
To be the one that loves you
The one that cares for you
And still I’m not enough
To be abandoned for a Mysterious love
Well I image me as your heaven
Still I’m not enough

I hear that you are doing well now
You’ve survived
And so have I
But I keep your secret
Locked up tight
So you’re safe to hide
Track Name: Secret LIVE from The Winchester Music Hall
SECRET

I’ve got a secret here, baby
Oh I’m dyin’ to tell
Who is your secret there, darlin’
Who’s that something concealed

(Chorus)
I’m singing love
Oh, no lye me down low
I’m beggin’
Don’t speak

Out in the open there baby
Oh it’s likely to fail
Exposed uncensored there darlin’
Oh it’s likely to kill

(Chorus)
I’m singing love
Oh, no lye me down low
I’m beggin’
Don’t speak a breath of us, no

I’ve got a secret here baby
Oh how badly would you like to know

(Chorus)
I’m singing love
Lye me down low
I’m beggin’
Don’t speak a breath of us, no
Track Name: Simple Things LIVE from The Winchester Music Hall
THE SIMPLE THINGS

A simple conversation takin’ place between a patient
And her flip-chart files, her blood filled viles
With the decision of whether or not life is worth a second chance
Having all the complication and the questions
That don’t have any answers
The God Damn doctors
Are messin with a womans life and
Actin’ like there’s nothing left but death

Walkin’ through a living cemetery with the scary
Thought of her heart failing her will power bailing
Before I have my opportunity to enter in my final plea
Sitting in this chair with nothing here except for fear
Hoping she’s lying – politely complying
To ultimately defeat any decree that they maybe try to give

(Chorus)
I know the simple things aren’t always
The good things oh no this ain’t
No alternative to a life
I know the simple things aren’t always
The good things oh no this ain’t
No alternative to a life

The moment passes as it’s boiled down to guesses
And a family stands fighting completely denying
The consequences taking chances could only bring
As I hear her voice say I give in
I give up now I’m quitting
So let’s all play pretend and
Let’s all go home where the healing begins

(Repeat Chorus)

I remember my late, late night, when I gave up all hope
The plastic pill filled bottle I swallowed
And awakening every hour to the ringing in my ears
The horrid look of me dying in the mirror
So, I know what it’s like to greet death at your door
Or have the option of crossing over the threshold
And entering into – that no return world.

(Repeat Chorus)

A simple conversation between a patient and her
Flipchart files and blood filled viles
With the decision of whether or not
Life is really worth a second chance
As I hear of all the mistakes
With the life that’s at stake and the chances they’ll take
And I’m wonderin’ if really we’re lyin’ and just waiting for the end.